Is anything sacred anymore?

My brain often works in funny ways. You know, how sometimes you'll think of something, which then reminds you of something else, which then reminds you of something else, and about five minutes later you're thinking about something totally unrelated to your first thought and you have no idea how you got there? Well, I always think like this. My mind is a mess. Messy, messy, messy. {That is a quote from the Disney movie Winnie the Pooh. My mind also recalls movie quotes all. the. time. But, that's just me.} So, the other day (a popular Southern phrase which can mean yesterday or 4 weeks ago), I was thinking about my blog. And then I thought about my most recent post on those awful, embarrassing photos. And then I thought about this girl I used to know who hated when I posted photos on Facebook of her because she often found them horrifying and did not want the entire Internet, a.k.a the world, to see her like that. And then I thought about how her frustration with my photo posting led me to no longer post photos on Facebook because it was too much work and too hard to please everyone. And then I thought about how I, in fact, do not like it when people tag me in Facebook photos, simply because I'm not entirely comfortable with my life appearing on computers across the universe. And then I thought about how I wish I could stop people from posting photos of me on Facebook altogether, but I can't, so at the very least I will continue un-tagging myself. And then, Say Yes to the Dress came on and I thought about my wedding. And then, my brain connected Facebook, my wedding and photographic privacy. Well, of course, a real debate began then.

After sampling the way my brain works, I'm not sure you're interested in reading this post anymore, but we'll give it a go regardless. Here are the facts. I am uncomfortable with the lack of privacy social networks such as Facebook create. Sure, I have a Facebook profile, but the information on it is extremely limited and my privacy controls rival the Pentagon. I guess I just feel exposed and somewhat violated. To me, the Internet is like a black hole. Once you drop something in it, you're not getting it back. You can post photos on Facebook and only let your "friends" view them and you can even take them down after a limited time, but the reality is, they are gone. Someone could have grabbed some of those photos from your album, sent them to so-and-so, who sent them to so-and-so, who saved them to her hard drive, which was eventually stolen by a gangsta who created a sick shrine of your photos in his apartment. Now, I know this is an exaggeration, but the point is, once those photos go up, you don't know where they go. They are no longer yours, they are essentially the property of the Internet. That being said, I am uncertain that I want my wedding, an intimate, private, cherished event, to be dropped into the black hole of the Internet.

It's not entirely a vanity issue - I don't freak out when others post ghastly photos of me, I tend to laugh it off and remind myself to never look that hideous again - but, it would be sort of annoying to plan, prep and dream of this wedding only to check my phone while boarding my plane for my honeymoon and find blurry, badly shot photos of my special day on the Internet. So, there's that. Plus, as I argued above, I just think it's a private event. I'm not the Bachelorette getting married on ABC or a Kardashian girl. The entire universe is not supposed to witness my wedding. And while people will come and snap photos galore (which is totally fine by me), for the purpose of keeping them or sharing them in real life (not the web) with others, posting them to Facebook shares them with everyone.

I bet at this point, you're thinking, "April does not plan on posting photos of her wedding on Facebook." And, you're right. But here's the thing, I don't think I want others to either. This is where the debate gets tricky. I read a lot of wedding blogs and this is a hot issue. Some girls believe it is totally "bridezilla" to ask guests (via word of mouth or signs on the tables) to not post photos of the event to Facebook. While other girls believe weddings are sacred and not to be viewed on Facebook. Some girls even attempted a compromise by setting up an online photo sharing account with programs such as Shutterfly (these programs have a user name and password) and inviting guests to post photos there. This enables all the guests to view and share photos, yet it is much more protected and limited than Facebook.

Obviously, my mind is very messy regarding this topic. There is a lot to think about and the last thing I want to be is a "bridezilla." But, it's 2010, and it will be 2012, and the Internet is a huge part of people's lives. Issues of Internet etiquette regarding weddings are bound to come up. My wedding day isn't just another day to me, and while I love that people will want to excitedly show others snapshots of that special day, I'm not sure Facebook is the appropriate way. Plus, uploading photos to Facebook is so easy now, that it often becomes a distraction and annoyance. For example, I attended weddings where members of the wedding party and guests were constantly uploading photos from their cell phones to Facebook as the wedding was happening. Would it kill people to put the phones down for one day and take a breath and celebrate something so incredibly special? Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe uploading photos to Facebook (while you're at the wedding or after) is people's way of celebrating something special. So, help me out. What do you think? This is a topic I could really use some opinions on, so let it fly.

CAUTION: Highly embarrassing photographs to follow.

Oh, devoted blog readers. You. Are. In. For. A. Treat. Remember my post weeks ago about how Adam and I met? And, how ridiculously embarrassing photographs of me staring up at Adam like he was some kind of Greek god were captured during this meet-cute? Well, I thought the photos were gone forever. When they were initially posted on the Delta Sig website, I did not save them to my computer because I was MORTIFIED. Seven years later, I never thought I'd see them again. Enter Bill Marsh. A great, great friend of ours, and a fellow Delta Sig, Bill was so delighted and intrigued by my telling of this story that he sought out to locate these photos. He contacted fellow frat brothers and searched high and low for them. Well, kids, he found them. I will admit, I hoped dearly that I had exaggerated my telling of the story and that the photos were, in fact, not so bad. Fat chance. Bill had a good, long laugh after seeing them and assured me they are, indeed, pretty bad.

Lucky for you, I'm not ashamed of these pictures. Sure, I look like a school girl sitting in the front row of a Justin Bieber concert, but what can you do? Some may say it was love at first sight. Therefore, I feel it is only my duty to follow through and show everyone these photographs. And truth be told, I am actually really grateful to Bill for locating this memory for me. After all, it was the first time we ever met, and I am glad we have photos of it.

Without further ado, here are the photos. It was a bit dark (after all, it was at a club) so the photos are not a great quality. The upside for you is no amount of quality loss can cover up this debacle. It shouldn't be hard for you to spot me. I'm the girl breaking her neck in an attempt to gawk at Adam. Enjoy.

That's me, on the right. Clearly enamored.

This is the worst one, I think. Not only am I staring up at Adam, but I appear to be the only one.

So, there you have it. In all its glory. Bill insists we should post these photos in large format at the wedding. What do you think? Haven't I suffered enough?

Tackling Tacky

Engagements bring many joys, one of which is the registry. I cannot wait to register. I cannot wait to hold that little gun scanner thingy in my hand and zap, zap away. With our long engagement, Adam and I are waiting until closer to the wedding to register. We don't want to register too early for fear of items on our list discontinuing. Plus, we just want to save the registry process and still have it to look forward to. That being said, not everyone is a fan of the registry. Case in point, my mother. My mother loves purchasing gifts and always puts a great deal of thought into what she buys. She is a fervent opponent of the gift card, as she thinks it lacks the personalization a gift should contain. My mom does not like registries because she believes they suck the fun out of buying gifts by simply telling people what to get the couple. While she can see its purpose for items that need to match, such as dishes or sheet sets, she doesn't see its purpose otherwise. I of course, disagree, and often remind my mother that while she loves purchasing gifts and pondering about what to buy, not everyone does. Some people find it helpful to be given a wish list, especially people who do not know Adam and I well enough to know what we already own and/or want and hate trying to think of a gift to buy. I imagine a lot of people agree with my mom and a lot of people agree with me.

Registries are a hot button issue, and a lot of the debate surrounds the tackiness of it all. There are two tacky issues surrounding registries that concern me, so I thought I'd turn to the blogosphere to hash them out. First, many people (mostly older, I'll admit) find it tacky to register at stores other than the traditional department stores or a Target/Bed, Bath and Beyond variety. Many couples are now registering at stores such as REI for camping gear and outdoors equipment. Personally, I love this idea. If a couple enjoys camping or other outdoor activities, why shouldn't they register for those items? Plus, as a purchaser of many a wedding gift, I would have loved the option to buy the bride and groom a lantern or set of croquet clubs instead of a boring toaster. Adam and I would love to register for non-traditional items at non-traditional stores, but is it tacky? What do you think?

The second tacky issue involves notifying people of your registry. Basically, you shouldn't. (There he is, evil Should...I told you he lurks around corners and blindsides you.) It is apparently tacky to put registry information on your invitation because it implies that every guest should bring you a gift. Some people think it is not tacky to put a separate card in with the invitation that contains your registry information, but the jury of tackiness is still out on this one. Most people suggest using word of mouth and encouraging both sets of parents to spread the news to each side of guests. Or, with technology running rampant today, a lot of couples are advertising their wedding website on the invitation and then listing their registry information on their website. This is sort of a tacky loophole. So, what do you think? What is the best way to notify guests of a registry? Now, you know how I feel about Should, but in this case I certainly don't want our guests to think we are greedy, little bitches who only want them to come to the wedding so they can bring us a fabulous gift. Speak your mind below and let me know how to avoid being tacky.

Clueless Bride-to-Be Seeks Advice from Smart Blog Readers

2009 Halloween photograph shot by Cade Bowman

In a mere month and a half's time, my favorite photographer and high school classmate will fly up to Vermont and shoot our engagement photos. Adam and I are extremely excited for Cade's arrival and we have a ton of ideas for our shoot. Cade is no ordinary photographer; he has a photojournalist edge, loves to push the creative boundaries and turns out photos that are anything but run-of-the-mill. While many brides strive for the couple-sitting-on-lawn-or-bench-staring-fondly-at-each-other brand of engagement photos (and that's totally great for them) this is not what we want. I mean, c'mon, you've seen the Halloween photo we sent out (which, by the way, was shot by Cade.) We want creative, unique poses juxtaposed with anything but ordinary buildings and settings. We plan to use props and fabulous clothes. In short, these engagement photos will rock!


As I dream of my engagement photos, it occurred to me that I have no clue what couples do with these photos. I knew we'd get some blown up and scatter them throughout our house and I knew that we would give our parents some photos as gifts...but what else? We don't plan on designing a photo Save-the-Date or invitation, so that doesn't really fit. Perhaps other family members and friends will want copies? Or perhaps we'll just keep them for our pleasure and use them to make a photo book guestbook or something for the wedding? We also might use them at the wedding reception or ceremony in some fashion. My Mom didn't have much insight into this, as she quickly discovered she didn't know anyone who'd gotten engagement photos other than to use in the local newspaper. I don't think we'll be using them for that purpose, simply because Adam and I think it's a waste of money and doubt anyone in our small towns care about our upcoming nuptials. So, I turn to my wise blog readers. Surely some of you have taken and/or know others who took engagement photos. What did they do with them? What should we do with them?

Inquiring Minds

When an engaged couple decides to have a long engagement, such as we did, the novelty of being engaged tends to wear off for outsiders. I know, it sounds terrible, but it's true, and that's OK. Eventually, us being engaged becomes pretty normal. Our engagement used to be the topic of frequent conversations, we received "You're Engaged!" cards and gifts from friends and family and were subjected to a constant stream of wedding questions and suggestions that occasionally felt as if we were taking part in the wrong end of a firing squad. This stage was fun, and now we are in a different stage. Every one's still excited, but in a long-term, let-me-know-when-something-exciting-happens kind of way. There are benefits to this stage, too, because it allows Adam and I to really think and scheme and plan. At this point, only every once in while, do I get one question. People now ask, "What have y'all planned already and what are you working on now?"

What are we doing now? The truth is, we're still not doing hardly anything. As Adam put it some time ago, "We talk about it and talk some more, but we're not actually doing anything for real." Our wedding is over a year and a half away. We talk a lot about it, we gather inspiration from magazines and websites and we make many lists. Lists of projects we plan on DIYing (do it yourself) and lists of tasks we should be doing during these early planning months. I know what you're thinking. Time will start to fly soon and we'll be outta time. {10 points to the first person who can name the movie in which "OUTATIME" is featured on the license plate of a main character's car.} So, yes, I am keeping this in mind. I don't want to run out of time either. At any rate, I know people are wondering, so here is what we are actually, currently doing with the wedding...drum roll please...

1. Researching venues online. Compiling list of venues, with a ton of information about them, for final consideration and tour. Becoming frustrated with lack of venues that contain all of our wants and desires.
2. Researching caterers (in the event we can score a super sweet venue that allows outside catering) and researching bakers. Becoming hungry from this research.
3. Contemplating our wedding party. You're not getting anything out of me on this topic.
4. Deciding on our color scheme. Yes, we have one. No, I'm not telling you.
5. Gathering inspiration for and imagining our Save-the-Date cards and invitation suite. Loving the fact that I'm a graphic designer and can do all of this myself.
6. Booking our photographer. Check! Who knew the guitarist and singer of my favorite hometown band in high school would become an amazing and talented photographer?
7. Discussing our budget. Fun. Times.
8. Engaging in heated debates about music. At least we know we'll have some.
9. Wondering how much it costs to rent tables and chairs and not feeling particularly excited to look it up.
10. Trying to convince Adam it would be insanely fun to break a glass at our ceremony, despite the fact that we are not Jewish and some may find this offensive. So far, he's not buying it.

Whew. It sounds like a lot when I type it, which obviously means we are doing a lot! What do you think? Are we doomed to run outta time or are we still looking good?

Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo!

Man, how I wish a fairy godmother would appear out of nowhere and design a beyond fantastic wedding dress for me. That's not such a big request, is it? Since Adam and I are not getting married for a couple of years, there is no pressing need for me to dress shop just yet. After all, styles change and my style is constantly evolving. The last thing I need is to pick a dress tomorrow and realize three months prior to the wedding that I hate it.

But...I am a girl...and a girl who loves fashion. So, I can't help but leaf through countless wedding magazines and peruse endless slide shows on the Internet, searching for a dress that speaks to me. Unfortunately, seeing dresses on the Internet or in print isn't quite the same thing as trying them on. And while I've yet to find any dress in a magazine or on the web that I immediately knew I would love, I hold out hope that trying dresses on will be a whole different ball game. There are a lot of trends out right now that I could see myself rocking. And a lot of beautiful dresses. What's a girl to do? As a preliminary step, I thought it would be interesting to post a few photos of the hottest dresses for fall of this year (they are deemed the hottest by...other people...dress critiquing experts, if you will.) Weigh in and let me know if you could see me in any of these fabulous dresses. Maybe you like the top of one dress and the bottom of another? Perhaps we can just chop them in half, exchange and sew them back together. With so many styles and trends to filter through, I thought some opinions and suggestions couldn't hurt. Discuss away.